Good-Bye, Blogger!

Farewell! I've launched my new website. Check out http://catherinegacad.com/

Happy New Year, everyone. I am reinventing myself for 2010!

A Long Life and a Short One

Dean's maternal grandmother died today at the age of 91. She had a full life and very family-oriented. I heard so many stories about her. Her home was surrounded by pictures of her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. She always sent cards and cried whenever anyone talked about our wedding because she wanted to come. A rich full life was had and shared.

On a very sad note, my mother emailed me when I told her about Dean's grandma. "We also got very sad news this morning. Our co-worker lost his 4 month old daughter yesterday. We don't know the details yet. When he went to pick her up from day care after work, there was an ambulance infront not knowing it was his baby the paramedics were trying to resuscitate. She did not make it."

My heart is breaking! Here is more from my mom.

"this is their first baby. they were married two years ago. he was just showing me the baby's pictures with santa claus last week. he is such a proud dad and takes care of the baby like a mom giving bottle feedings and changing diapers during the night. that's what makes us so sad because we don't know how he is taking it.

"went to the cathedral for the noon mass with one of my coworker and we were there early. right before the mass the priest was saying hello to everyone and i went to him and asked him to include the baby's intention. he had a pen and pad and wrote the name. my friend and i were surprised when he announced at the beginning of the mass that the mass is for the baby and her family. and he mentioned her name again at the offertory. that made us feel better."

Transition

We're shaking it up at 2420 Geary.

In February of 2005, a couple bought the upstairs two-bedroom. I bought one of the downstairs one-bedrooms--the one facing Geary Boulevard. And another couple bought the other identical, but mirror image one-bedroom across from me. This couple would separate and divorce soon after. Still, the four of us (one couple and two single women) lived harmoniously for almost five years, watching each others' dogs, collecting mail, working together to remedy pipe leaks, drainage problems, and fixing an eyesore of a backyard.

I moved out and in with my fiance this past summer, rotating my condo with an MBA summer intern and a Stanford post-doc. In January, a couple of doctors will move in. The doctors had no use for the garage spot so I'm renting that out, too, to a neighbor across the street to house his weather-damaged BMW.

Newly-maried, my neighbor with the identical unit moved out a month ago. She initially paid $500K and sold for $525K which is a slight loss when you account for the broker fees. I paid $455K for mine which profits me $40K right now if I sold. All of this is public information. It's easy to determine whether or not your place is under water. I have no plans to sell. It's been surprisingly easy to find tenants to pay rent that covers my mortgage and HOAs.

The upstairs neighbors are now preparing to put their place on the market in 2010. When they leave, it'll be sad knowing I'm the only remaining original owner and I don't even live there anymore.

Making History Every Day

It's that time of the year when you get hit up for donations. In a stack of mail, something came from my business school. I quickly glanced at it, about to toss it, when I saw my name in bold. Nice touch, GSB.

1890 John D. Rockefeller donates $600,000 ($14.2 million in 2008 dollars) calling it "The best investment I ever made"

1929 First University to grant a PhD in business to a woman

1935 First Heisman Trophy is awarded to College of Commerce student John Jay Berwanger

1982 George Stigler becomes the first business school faculty member to receive a Nobel Prize

2004 Catherine Gacad earns MBA

2008 The school was named in honor of David G. Booth for his $300 million gift, which Booth described as a "partnership distribution" based on the long-term contribution to his life's success by his alma mater

To Prenup or Not Prenup

I do not know a single person who has gotten a prenup. Consider, too, that my network is vast. If there's anyone out there reading this who has gotten one, please contact me.

There are a few reasons to get a prenup: 1) You're a major celebrity like Tiger Woods, 2) You stand to inherit billions like Athina Roussel who is the sole heir to the Onassis fortune, or 3) You own property. I fall into the last category. Not only that, I have built up my own little nest egg that is mine. Not my husband's. Not community property. It is my hard-earned money.

I've consulted many friends regarding this--friends with inheritances, friends who came in with a lot of money, friends who had property. Across the board, they did not put together a prenup. Further, they questioned, "Do you really want to bring up the topic?" I've gone back and forth and figured that I didn't really care. I agreed. Why bring it up anyway? What's mine is his and what's his is mine.

But then a friend of mine put me to the test during drinks the other day. It really made me rethink the issue. He asked, "Let's say you were marrying someone who came into the marriage with a lot of money. Then he asked you to sign a prenup. What would you say? Would you be offended?"

I shook my head. "I would absolutely not be offended. What's his money is his money. I'd have no problem signing a prenup."

"Then there's your answer."

Conrado snapped this pic of an art piece at Sugar Cafe.

There's no rhyme or reason to Christmas with my family. It happens at different homes. Sometimes it's celebrated on Christmas Eve, especially growing up. More recently, it's been Christmas Day. People come and go throughout the afternoon and into the night. There's no set time; this drives me crazy! If the start time is 2pm. Don't do it. No one will be there. I've learned my lesson. Timeliness is not rewarded in our Filipino household. You sit anywhere and your seat rotates throughout the night. It's a buffet free-for-all. I'm always astounded when spending a holiday meal with friends and it's a set course. Wine is passed around the table. You actually have to talk to one another for a good chunk of time. I love that there's order. I hate the chaos I've grown up with which is why I've spent several Christmases travelling with friends. What beats South America in December?

I enjoyed this year with Dean's family. His parents picked us up from the airport and drove us directly to church for mass. We snuck away after they dropped us off. With 90 minutes to kill, we walked a few blocks to an English pub's trivia night and drank beer. The 10:30pm mass was half-full which was a big surprise to me. Every single Christmas mass I've gone to has had people standing up, lining the walls.

We spent Christmas day at his parents' new house. Buffet-style, but sit-down. Then lots and lots of presents. Piles of presents for the kids. No matter how wasteful, I still think it's fun. Presents are important. We continued to eat throughout the night: pumpkin pie, cheesecake, Dorritos, Ruffles with french onion dip. I thought I was going to explode before midnight. It was a good time. Everyone was still around late into the night.

As we got ready to leave, Dean's cousin patted me on the back jokingly, "Catherine, you can do better. There's still time. It's not too late to call off the engagement."

Merry Christmas Eve

Call me selfish. I wish I could stay here at home and spend Christmas with the fam. Instead, I'm off to hang with the in-laws in Scottsdale, Arizona. You'd think one of the perks of spending Christmas in the desert would be sun, right? But hell no, it's just as cold there as it is here. Oh well.

Despite my party-pooping anxiety of spending Christmas away from the throngs of Filipinos, I have had the best two nights hanging out with loved ones.

Tuesday night, Dean and I went ice-skating at Union Square, took pics with Santa, then sang and drank the night away with friends at my favorite city bar, the Gold Dust. Love that place! It's the perfect mix of tourists and locals and the drinks are dust cheap.

Last night, Conrado came into town and we grabbed dinner at the Westfield food court, had drinks at Oola, then Marky came out to meet us with his fabulous Aussie date. I LOVE THE GAYS! Marky hates it when I call him my gay friend. "You don't call Daniel your black friend."

"Yes I do!"

So happy to celebrate with my posse prior to departure. Merry Christmas everyone and I'll try to blog if I can get my hands on internet access.

Finance Work

It's the Eve before Christmas Eve and I'm working feverishly on finance. Not my job, but personal finance.

Budget
- We have no budget. This is a bad thing.
- Dean and I have been reveling in our extra savings from living in a studio and the income from my condo, that we don't really manage our money. We go out to eat. We drink every night. We spend freely.
- No more. Starting now I've sorta put us on a budget. Every paycheck, a certain amount of money will be transferred into our designated savings account.

Savings
- I think it's important to have specific savings accounts. Otherwise, there's no incentive to save.
- The savings account for our wedding was completely funded after the current tenant paid for December rent. A total of $20,000 for our desert wedding. Done and done.
- I have a new set of tenants (two doctors) moving into my place in January. Their checks will be deposited into our new savings account for a home. In two years, we should have enough for 20% down on another home.
- My 401K is growing. I max it out every year. I'm looking to open up a Roth IRA soon, too.

Insurance
- Geico is the best for auto.
- Traveler's for home.
- We don't have renter's insurance. That's on my to-do list.

The Gacad-Barbella Legacy
- One kid is enough.
- I have no plans to save for my one child's education. He or she can pay for college like I did. I believe in the best up-front education possible to ground children for continued success in college and beyond.
- I've always wanted my kid to go to Catholic school. If my immigrant parents could afford it, I can too.
- The best Catholic elementary schools in San Francisco are Convent and Stuart Hall at a whopping $20,000+ per year. That starts at kindergarten! Way beyond our means, but strong potential for a scholarship. Throw us a bone: two Catholic parents with one of us (me) who went to Catholic school for 12 years. I'll ask the Bishop for a recommendation. That said, I have concerns with any kid of mine going to a richy school. Just not our style.
- So I've scoped out Notre Dame des Victoires not too far down from where we live and not too far up from where I work. At $700 a month for our kid to have a Catholic elementary school education, then on to Saint Ignatius for high school at $1300 a month, we can definitely afford to have our little kid sporting a plaid uniform.

Whistle While You Work

I love being at work during the holidays. It's quiet. You can go out for lunch with friends without feeling guilty. Work is in slow motion. I really do like what I do, but it can get stressful...almost unhealthy considering the lack of sleep. So I treasure these times when my co-workers' kiddies come in to see what mommy does during the day. You can power through all those emails that are still sitting in your inbox.

I don't believe in Astrology, but I still find it uncanny when I read a horoscope that's spot on.

From the November issue of Glamour. Gemini: The full moon and Mars unsettle your life; then the new moon and Mercury tidy it back up. Tackle a project you're dying to start, whether it's work stuff (website!) or a health routine (Wii Fit!).

Uncanny...new website coming soon.

Drip, Drip, Drip

You know how the models own their quirky traits. Like Cindy Crawford and her mole. Lauren Hutton and the gap between her two front teeth. Or Padma Lakshmi's scarred arm. It's cute. It's what makes them unique. Well, I've got this quirky trait called hyperhydrosis. It's so not cute. I sweat a lot, especially underneath the armpits. It caused me a lifetime of embarrassment. And it was expensive having to dry clean silk blouses.

Several years ago, a friend told me about Botox to help control the sweating. Luckily, my health insurance Kaiser covers the Botox procedure. The dermatologist draws a grid on each armpit, then injects the Botox. It lasts exactly six months. During that time, I don't sweat. I don't wear deodorant. I haven't worn deodorant in years. It's a lifesaver. When the six months are up, I suddenly start sweating up a storm which results in a frantic call to Kaiser.

Well fucking shit, my dermatologist is on vacation. Apparently, they won't switch me to someone else. I must go to her. So now I have to wait three weeks for an opening in her schedule. Until then, I am dripping!

Notre Dame. briansolis.com

Crossing the Bridge

Leaving San Francisco is never fun because there's always traffic, you gotta pay toll, and why leave the city when everything you need is right here.  One reason to leave is the city of Berkeley which is commutable, diverse.  There's the Gourmet Ghetto, fabulous dining options, Cal sports. Seriously, check it out.  

We went on Saturday night and ended up at the Albatross which I forget how much I love. Berkeley has 4th Street for shopping and brunch, the Albatross, the Mallard...for drinks.  It's too fun.  Go!

R.I.P Brittany Murphy

I'm mourning the death of Brittany Murphy.  I'm just shocked.  32-years-old.  I loved everything she was in: Clueless, 8 Mile.  And that catchy Pussycat song with Oakenfold.  So young, so sad. Shocking.

Privacy Schmivacy

Don't you find it fascinating all the tools we have in our discretion to stalk people?  Ok, maybe 'stalking' is the wrong term.  But I can determine a lot about people through a handful of sites.

On Facebook, I can learn whether or not someone's married or has children.  I think there was a big fuckup with the new privacy settings because if you didn't have time to set them up correctly, other people can see a lot of information about you even if they're not your Facebook friend. Previously, I couldn't see anything except a profile picture for an ex-friend, but now I can see some personal tidbits and several photo albums.  Clearly, she hasn't had a chance to go through the privacy settings and make her information public only to her friends.

On LinkedIn, I can back into how old people are.  I'm always curious to know how old people are.  I don't know why.  It just fascinates me.  I had dinner the other night with a friend's wife and was astonished to find out she's at least 10 years older than me--I thought she was my age!

On SimplyHired, I can find out how much you make.  The secret is out.  All my doctor friends who think they make so much money...really don't make much more than me.  In fact, general practioners and pediatricians make less than I do.  Plug in your salary.  You'll be surprised at how close the average is to what you make.

I can spend hours wasting time learning about my coworkers, friends, friends of friends.  I need to get offline and read more literature.

Jobseekers: Read This

I still get bombarded by people who are looking for jobs. Delete. I have no sympathy for random people expecting me to help them out. Delete, delete, delete.

Someone sent me the following email a month ago. This is the right way to pursue the job hunt. I wish I could give her credit, but I can't go blogging her name on the interweb.

Hi Catherine,

You may or may not recall, but I used to work with Carl Samson in the targeting group at [company vendor]. We exchanged a few emails back and forth in my time there. I’m now a student at Chicago Booth (though I’m sure it will always be GSB to you!) and recall that you are an alum. Since you are someone who went to school in Chicago, but managed to find a job post-graduation in the Bay Area, I’m curious to know how easy/difficult you found that to be. I am originally from the Bay Area, and would ideally like to end up back there. I am also seeking to continue on in the Finance industry, so if you have any thoughts or advice you could share about recruiting for Bay Area firms in Finance-specific roles, I would appreciate the help.

Thanks in advance! Hope to hear from you soon.

Best,
Cassandra

First, notice how Cassandra re-introduces herself and provides the background on how we know each other. Secondly, I've got to give kudos to someone who's looking for a job, but never mentions it in the email. Her email makes me feel knowledgeable since she's seeking my advice on coming back to the Bay Area. This girl is smart and savvy. I have no doubt that she'll find a job right away...because people are going to want to help her. I do...and I don't even really know her!

Shopaholic

The mail room guys at my company get a kick out of me because I've had several deliveries a day for the past week or so.  They think I have a side-gig as a personal shopper.  I have boxes and boxes stacked in my cube from Amazon, Zappos, Design Within Reach. Does anyone else have this problem?  I don't want packages shipped to my home address because, duh, no one's home. I'm at work all day long.

I don't go to the mall.  I don't browse.  I don't wait in line anywhere. I do 80% of my shopping online.  I buy so many books---books for me, friends, kids, everyone.  I buy shoes from Zappos. A new hairdryer, a lamp, handy toolkit presents for my neighbors from Amazon.  Look Ma, not tax! 

It's totally embarrassing, especially when the same mail guy came a second, then third time around.  "Another package, huh?  Either it's Christmastime or you've got a bad shopping habit."

Dieting

No I'm not dieting.  An acquaintance who's getting married asked me for tips on how to lose weight.  Since I truly used to be overweight and struggled with poundage issues for many years, I feel overly-qualified to advise.

1. Do not diet.  Let me repeat.  DO NOT DIET.  Dieting is counter-intuitive.  Trust me. Restriction leads to weight gain.

2. Eat what you crave.  When I'm craving Chinese food, I go out and eat Chinese food.  When I feel like having a meal of fried greasy onion rings, I do so.  If you fail to do this, you will continue to think about it until you eat what you're craving.  

3. Do not waste your time eating foods that are apparently good for you.  If you don't like it, do not eat it.  I'm so sick of people telling me I should eat more fruit.  I cannot stand fruit!  I avoid it like I avoid sniffly people on the MUNI bus.  It's just wasted calories.  The problem is, we have this notion that we need to eat "good" food like fruit and veggies, then we can have dessert.  That's bullshit.  If you want to eat steak.  Eat steak and it will fulfill you.  If you want to eat Cheetos like I do, then do so and feel satisfied.

4. Running burns the most calories, but really you should do whatever physical activity makes you feel great.  Physical activity will definitely slim you back up.  But once you get down to your ideal weight and you're able to maintain it, then you can ditch the physical activity.  I don't really work out anymore.  I love the extra time I have in my life to do something other than sweat on a treadmill.

5. There's something about drinking grapefruit juice that helps you lose weight.  It's proven. 

6. I make my biggest meal brunch or lunch.  During the week, I'm too busy to have a big breakfast, but I consume around 1,000 calories during lunch.  I go to town with Thai food or a cheeseburger, onion rings, and chocolate chip cookie.  I'm so full throughout the afternoon that all I need is a light dinner.  For brunch on weekends, you'll see me ask the waiter for the most caloric thing on the menu.

7. Last, but not least: the secret.  Readers of my blog know that I'm a firm believer in the book The Secret.  If you believe, you will receive. One of the chapters talks about losing weight. Believe yourself skinny and you're there.

The Best Hire

I'm convinced that the perfect hire has the following traits.

Young.  Young people are not yet jaded.  They're eager, willing to work hard and long hours.  I mean, how many investment bankers do you see who are in their forties?  Younglings are the ones who volunteer to spearhead the social events and organize end-of-the-year Christmas packages to families in need.  I used to be one of those people back in my early twenties.  I used to write out Valentine's to everyone I worked with and personally sealed it with a Hershey's kiss.  Not any more.  I don't care.  I don't have the time.  I figure someone else (usually younger) will pickup the slack.

Single Sans Children.  Working parents have to run to daycare to pick Tommy up by 6pm.  The single barren can forgo another night at the bar to work late.  There are no excuses.  Your work might as well be your life so go ahead and impress your boss.  The only bedtimes stories are work you brought home to put you to sleep.

Close Proximity to Work.  People who live in close proximity to their work are good hires. How many times do you hear coworkers complain, "I gotta go, BART is about to stop running." Or "I better get going.  My commute is an hour long."  Well whose fucking fault is that?  It's ironic that I pay a premium to live in the city of San Francisco and as a result, I also put in more hours.  I usually get called in since I'm so close.

No Name Alma Maters.  I can't believe I'm saying this, but people who come from colleges that accept anyone under the sun, tend to work a lot harder than Ivy Leaguers.  My theory is that the more recognizable your school, the more you expect to get paid.  And if you feel you're not getting paid enough, well then there's hell to pay. People I know who barely graduated hick town colleges are so appreciative of the job, they'll surprise you when it comes to work productivity.

Save the Dates

The Save the Dates are ready for delivery. When I created them, I didn't factor in where to put the mailing address and stamp. Oh well, that's what you get when you do it yourself and pay practically nothing. I'll keep that in mind for the next wedding. Just kidding, Dean. I meant for the renewal of our vows in 50 years!

I'm still in the office and gearing up to be back in the office at 4am tomorrow morning which is why this post is short. Must get sleep.

Shhhh, Don't Tell

It's common knowledge that you should refrain from telling people what you plan on naming your kids.  Dean mentions a TV show where some guy told his friends what he wanted to name his first kid, then one of those friends got a dog and gave it that same name.  

A former pregnant coworker came in flustered one Monday morning because her mom hated the baby name she picked out.  We all thought the name Jolene was cute, but the soon-to-be grandma agonized that the kid would be teased.

Even though I haven't had a kid, I kinda understand the issue because whenever I tell people what my wedding plans are, there's always suppressed agony.  I told my sister I wanted to wear flaming red shoes like the rest of my bridal party and she thought I had a mental lapse.  "Why would you wear red shoes?  You should wear white.  Why don't you wear my white wedding shoes?"

I don't want to wear anyone else's wedding stuff.  No one has the same style that I do.  I have cultivated my own unique style for the past 34 years.  Please no tears.  I went to Berkeley.  I spent four years of college scavenging thrift stores for clothes.  My style is funky, vintage, and sometimes loud.  Yes, LOUD!  I will wear neon red shoes to my wedding.  Why does anyone care?  As long as I'm happy, right?

Another friend straight-up handed me her wedding dress.  I am not kidding.  She handed it to me and said it would be perfect.  It was poofy and very very long.  And it had an empire waist. Empire waists are so 19th century.  I shuddered, "I can't.  Really, it's just too big." I'm barely a size 0.  This was coming from a girl who's a size 8!  

She continued to smile as if her act of kindness would win her the Nobel Peace Prize.  "Take it. You can alter it.  Do whatever you want. And look at this gorgeous veil.  You're going to look so beautiful." Then she tossed it in my face.  I could barely say good-bye beneath all the yards of tacky taffeta.  

Here's my advice for anyone planning a wedding.  Unless you're having the tried-and-true fairy tale wedding with the Cinderella dress, the limo, the overlooked flowers and centerpieces, don't tell anyone what's going on.  Unless, of course it's me.

Wedding Dress Arrival

Buyer 100 emailed that the dress was finished and on its way to me via USPS.  I thought they made a mistake.  I thought they meant UPS or FedEx, but the dress shipped from China using the United States Postal Service.  Go figure.  I've been tracking the dress daily as it made its way through customs and to my parents' home.  

My parents brought it this weekend when we metup for brunch.  It didn't come in a box.  It came in a small package.  The dress was fully compressed.  I was nervous.  Of course it wouldn't look exactly like the couture dress I tried on, right?  It just couldn't.  Drumroll please.

IT DOES!  It looks exactly like the pictures.  It looks exactly like the dress I tried on in a boutique in Chicago.  The only difference are all the wrinkles from the dress being compressed as much as possible to fit into a tiny package for cheaper postage.

The dress needs to be taken in from the bottom because I'm so short, but otherwise it fits perfectly around my girth.  And it'll need bustling.  But otherwise, it is perfect--at 1/4 the price. Great job, China!

D-I-V-O-R-C-E

In a previous post, I mentioned that one of these days, when a celebrity wife decides to leave her scoundrel of a husband that I would praise the ground she walks on. Well, book me a flight to South Carolina! The state's First Lady has filed for divorce from the governor. Remember Governor Mark Sanford? He was the guy caught doing the tango with an Argentinian? He told his cabinet he was on a hike or some kind of adventure travel. Instead, he was having an affair and boozing it up using public funds. Way to be a leader, Sanford!

Anyhow, I'm so glad Jenny Sanford (honors at Georgetown, VP of M&A at Lazard) is leaving his ass. She's smart, pretty, and has a bright future ahead of her without that scumbag. Way to go, Jenny!

On the same front, People.com posted its cheating poll today. Who's the year's worst: Tiger Woods, Jon Gosselin, Governor Sanford, John Edwards, or David Letterman? Hilarious. It pains me to say this, but Jon Gosselin was probably reliving the single twenties he never had. He's an embarrassment, but probably the most understandable of the aforementioned cheaters. Besides, they were separated. David Letterman had a girlfriend for decades, then eventually married her. Hello?!?! He's not proposing for a reason which means he's probably got other avenues to fulfill his desires. Tiger Woods, I think we're all just scratching our heads because his "alleged" mistresses are all butt-ugly compared to his wife. I mean, all these men are bad, but my vote goes to John Edwards who cheated on his wife who had cancer. What happened to "in good times and in bad?"

Bad, bad, bad. These men are bad!

Here to Stay

Dean and I decided that we cannot beat our living situation: the proximity to my work, the ease of getting around the city with busses, BART, and cable cars steps from our door, and the huge amount of money we're saving.  Now that we're set on staying, we're on a mission to completely redecorate.  

It's spring cleaning time, but in winter.  We're purging everything unnecessary: shoe boxes, knick-knacks, dead lamps, clothing we never wear.  One of the tenants who recently moved out left stainless steel kitchen shelving.  Dean took that down and setup in our place tonight.  We got rid of a storage unit in the kitchen to make room for a small table and chairs.

At the end of the year, when there's a change of tenants with my condo, I'll be sure to retrieve my red couch.  I'm scouring Craigslist for key furniture items.  Once we feel ready, we'll have people over for dinner in our studio.  We cannot wait.

The Sniffles

I'm under the weather.  Seriously under the weather.  I am stressed out of my mind: negotiating room rates for our wedding guests, gathering addresses for our save the dates, work is not easy, dance lessons, buying up presents, finalizing our wedding web site, I haven't even thought about my own web site which I thought I'd be launching now, and I'm bleeding.  I will probably not get to Christmas cards this year.  I'm going to the future in-laws in two weeks which is different and foreign and not something I need right now.  I need a vacation by myself to a warm sunny locale where I can get a room next to the ocean so I can hear the waves crash below, read books (where has all my reading time gone?) and drink lots and lots of wine.

I love Christmas.  I love December, but why is it so stressful this year?  Maybe it's all relative. 

Last year, I had an Elin Nordegren moment.  I didn't know I was playing second fiddle and literally lashed out at all parties involved. The situation was tense, ugly, and emotionally draining.  I shudder thinking at what transpired just one year ago.  

Oh, what a long way we have come.

You Get What You Pay For

Yelp, I love you.  I swear by you.  What other web site gives straightforward reviews on bars, restaurants, stores, places of interest...you name it.  I couldn't be the social butterfly I am without you.

But last night's Unwrapped Yelp party was a fucking disaster.  While the event was free, it was by invite only.  I envisioned a celebration of a select group of people.  Ummm, I think all of San Francisco and its neighboring counties were invited.  It was held at the Westin St. Francis in Union Square on the coldest night of the year.  The line wrapped (almost) completely around the block, meaning we had to cross two corners to finally get through the door.  It was jam-packed like a rock concert.  

So not fun.  I do not enjoy being pushed around by overzealous crowds making a beeline for the very few food stations.  I would rather pay for an expensive meal, a bottle of wine, and some serenity.  When you organize an event for thousands of people, get your act together!

I wrote a nasty review about the event on Yelp today.  In their defense, their organizer responded that there are obviously going to be challenges when entertaining 2500 people.  As much as I hated the event, I do have to say...that's good customer service.  I won't be attending anymore Yelp parties, but thank you for your service.

To Move or Not to Move

I've been schizophrenic about whether or not to move. I keep going back and forth. We've looked at a few places. As excited as I am when we're looking, I usually decide not to submit an application.

Pros to Moving:
Get the fuck out of a studio apartment.
Starting out fresh as a couple in a new place.
I'm tired of the nomadic strung-out homeless people roaming our corridors.
We can have a mish-mash of combined furniture.
Possibly a bigger kitchen, a bigger bathroom.
A room where we can close the door.

Cons to Moving:
Good-bye $1200 rent.
Our studio is actually a very large, high-ceilinged beautiful apartment.
The one-bedrooms aren't too much bigger than our current situation.
Valet parking.
I adore my cable car commute.
Our choice of nearby Club One facilities.
Dean's friends and favorite watering hole are nearby. I could care less about this one.

So we wait. I'm sure it won't be long before the perfect opportunity comes along.

Breaking News from TMZ

The one thing that keeps me sane at work (besides the vending machine) is having internet access to the celebrity blogs. I just can't get enough! But isn't it interesting how you never have to look past your backyard to get unbelievable news. Like finding out that two people at work were fired for doing the dirty in the stairwell. Smile! You're on candid camera. Holy crappola! The two people are married…but not to each other. And the woman has kids. Un-friggin-believable. I thought my life was crazy!!

It Takes a Village

I don't know the exact figure, but there must be well over a thousand people who volunteer for Burning Man.  There are few paid positions so active volunteerism is truly core to the organization.  The more I'm involved, the more I'm amazed by how it runs so smoothly despite its massive growth.  I am the Volunteer Coordinator for the ARTery which is the group that supports the artists and their artwork. Around this time, we send thank you cards to all those who volunteered or somehow participated in making the event special (like artists). These cards are alphabetized in boxes at headquarters where they are signed by staff, coordinators, and other volunteers. They will be mailed in time for the holidays.

Pulling off what seems like a small task (holiday cards for volunteers) is actually a hefty feat. The card needs to be designed and printed. We collect addresses, double-check addresses, email and bug volunteers for their addresses.  We have to go into the office and sort through thousands of addressed cards to find our volunteers, take the cards out, write cute holiday messages, then put them back.  This is a major operation.  OMIGOD, I was there for hours. And the ARTery is one of the smaller volunteer groups.  Consider that Burning Man runs an airport, a cafe, a post office, a DMV (department of mutant vehicles), emergency services...

I'm so proud to be part of an amazing organization.  Thank you to all those who volunteer.  It couldn't be done without you.

Inappropriate

Tis the season and there's merrymaking to be had.  I was very lucky that I was extended an invitation to attend my former group's end of the year celebration on Thursday night open only to employees.  Guests not welcome.  It was held at Temple Nightclub downtown: hors d'oeuvres, open bar, photobooth, DJ.  

Friday night, Dean had his party at the City Club which welcomed guests: very yummy hors d'oeuvres, open bar, caricature artists, three course dinner, gorgeous floral center pieces, plants for each guest to take home, dessert bar, band, and raffled prizes including Wiis, flat screen TVs, roundtrip airfares.

I'm more than happy to take part in these activities, but call me crazy, I think these events are inappropriate given the unemployment rate and layoffs.  Many will protest, "It's not even that much money in the grand scheme of things."  But I would retort, why do it on such a lavish scale?  Most people are satisfied to be on the payroll, let alone partying until midnight with your coworkers.  If you want to make your employees happy, just let them spend their time the way they want to...outside of the office and away from other coworkers!

The best thing any company can do is to retain capital.  Even if it means cutting back on parties. Your employees are going to be proud that they're still getting paid!  A consistent paycheck is all that we need.

And when the time is right, then party on.

Leave His Ass

I am so sick of seeing these strong, smart women stand by their men: Hillary Clinton, Silda Spitzer, Elizabeth Edwards, Elin Nordegren. I'm not in their shoes so I do not have a right to say what I would do if I were them. I don't have toddlers following me around in their pajamas, calling out for their papa. But one of these days, when some politico husband or celebrity athlete cheats on his wife and she turns around and leaves him, I swear to God, I will take the first flight out to DC or wherever they're located and kiss the ground that they walk on. HALLELUJAH! Thank you not only for sticking up for women and bucking the trend, but THANK YOU FOR HAVING SOME FUCKING SELF RESPECT!

These are smart, beautiful women who deserve better and I am tired of the husband theatrics. "I'm human and I'm not perfect." Shut the fuck up, Tiger Woods.  You are an asshole who needs to DIE.  I'm reading reports that Tiger's wife is renegotiating her prenuptial agreement as they try to work on their marriage.  No matter how much money is involved, no wife, no mother deserves to be with someone who's unfaithful.  It doesn't matter that he's a billionaire.  It doesn't matter that he's the greatest golfer of all time.  It matters that he was true to her and he was not.

Women deserve better and things won't change unless we decide we absolutely will not put up with this shit.  LEAVE HIS ASS!

Straightforward

I don't like surprises. I especially don't like lame surprises. This is our first Christmas together and I figured I'd tell Dean what I wanted. There are very few things I want in life. If I want something, I get it. But this is a present that can be rather expensive depending on which hardcover you get. I've been eyeing his work for years.

From: Catherine.Gacad
Sent: Wednesday, December 02, 2009 5:10 PM
To: Dean Barbella
Subject: Christmas Present

Hi Baby, I don't want you to stress about what to get me for Christmas so I'll just tell you.

I'm fascinated by Henry Darger who was a janitor in Chicago. After he died, people found a mass of beautiful illustrations with accompanying stories in his apartment.

He's a genius! I would love if you could get me one of his hardcover books. You can find him on Amazon.com. I'll just let you surprise me with which one you pick. Yey!!!

From: Dean Barbella
Sent: Wednesday, December 02, 2009 6:34 PM
To: Gacad, Catherine
Subject: RE: Christmas Present

Wow – Looks interesting. Will do!

If You Stray, You Die

In case you're wondering, the Gerber baby below is my friend Steph's 7-month old girl and we will be proudly showcasing her at the wedding as part of a trio of very cute flower girls.

Grrrrr. Has anyone else been following the Tiger Woods scandal? Apparently, Us Weekly will be running a feature tomorrow with another woman who asserts she had close to a 3-year affair with the golf phenom. I told Dean that if he ever cheated on me, he'd end up like Steve McNair--the murdered football player. His practically adolescent mistress went straight-up kamikaze on him! You go, girl!

It's just so sad, especially since Tiger's baby boy is barely a year old. Tiger needs to be hanging out with his wife and spending time with the fam! I'd freak out, too, if I were her. I hope she gave him a good concussion-induced whooping. Can't guys keep it in their pants?

It's a book club night so I'm posting a picture that Dean sent me when I told him I wouldn't be home until later.

Marriage Prep with St. Dominic's

I'm as devout a Catholic as they come these days, especially considering I went to Cal and I go to Burning Man. My dad was on his way to becoming a priest before he met my mom. My sister was on her way to becoming a nun before she met her husband. And I...well, I'm about to marry an Italian Catholic.

The Catholic church requires at least a six month timeframe of marriage prep prior to getting married. Marriage prep consists of meeting with our deacon several times, a weekend engagement encounter, family planning classes, questionnaires and discussions. It's all so...involved. Yak.

I wasn't looking forward to this process. I saw it as something to check off our list. But we met with our deacon tonight for the first time and he is a hoot! He was married twice, divorced once, had four boys and one baby girl of the family. He went on and on about how it was so joyous to finally have his girl. He was sure she'd have the relationship thing nailed since she grew up with four brothers. Figuring guys out would be a breeze. "It sure did," he cackled, "she's gay! Ahhh, life is so unexpected and wonderful. If you know exactly what's going to happen, it's not fun. Surprises are fun."

By the time we left the parish office, Dean had a man-crush on our deacon. He seemed so carefree and happy to be guiding us through the preparation. "One of my sons is finally drug-free after spending time at St. Anthony's. Another one is a police officer up in Sacramento. The other one cleaned up his act after getting his high-school sweetheart pregnant. They have a home in Pleasant Hill with their two boys. I got a boy who's at Dodge & Cox making $300,000 a year. And I told you about my girl. She's gay. We all support her. Blessed family, I tell you. Wonderful to watch it unfold."

All Together Now

Theme: Casual, Hip, Fun
Colors: Red, Black, and White
Venue and Catering: Ace Hotel, Palm Springs
Day Of Coordinator: Gina Leslie, The Walk Down the Aisle
Photographer: CK Hwang, 39 East Photography
DJ: Mike Bocek, Exxxplosivo
Dance: Irina Senchilina, Genesis Dance Sport
Flowers: Etsy.com
Cake: Ace (I didn't realize that this was included.)
Save the Dates: Postcards.com (I did it myself.)
Invitations (To be determined)
Programs: Claire DeLeon, Kalea Invitations
Website: Wordpress.com (Dean did it himself.)
Dress: Buyer100.com
Wedding Party Apparel: Personal choice using our color scheme
Decorations: Candles4Less.com
Registry: None
Honeymoon: Jill Zucker, Frosch International Travel

Financing the Wedding

Here's how we financed the wedding: partly our own savings and the rest through rental income.

We're lucky in a few respects. I own my home. Even in this down economy, I was able to rent it out. I preferred to live in Dean's place because of its proximity to work. His place is $1,200 and we have valet parking.

We each put in $5,000 for a total of $10,000 of our own savings.
My first tenant paid $1,800 for each month of her three-month summer internship. She didn't use the parking spot.
My current tenant pays $2,000 a month which includes parking. He's been in my place for three months so far.
My mortgage is $1,800 with HOAs of $100 so all the rent was mainly upside.

We've put away a grand total of $21,400 into an account that's strictly for the wedding. There's a bit more in there because of interest and Dean's family sent in a few congratulatory checks when they found out we were getting married. That's more than enough. I swore up and down I could hold myself to a budget of $15,000, but we're adding in a few things I'm sure our guests will be pleased with. We're also upping our guest count to a maximum of 150. Even at 150 guests, the wedding will be less than $20,000.

The next post will be a complete update, including a detailed list of our vendors.

Pay Your Fucking Debts

I borrow money all the time. I borrow money from our admin when I don't have change for the vending machine. I write down the amount of $1.00 on a post-it note and promptly pay her back the next day after I get cash from the ATM. Usually I buy some other junk food item at the Subway next door to break my cash. Besides these minor debts, I owe the government for a subsidized loan on grad school. I owe the bank for my private student loan and also my mortgage. I pay these debts consistently and on-time. I pay my credit card on-time. Never ever am I in arrears. Never in my life have I missed a payment due.

These are tough times. I know. Some are having a little bit tougher time than others, but the fact that you don't have a stable job or positive cash flow does not give you the license to neglect your debt. PAY UP! I have a friend from Burning Man who drove my car back from the playa and proceeded to (accidentally) get a parking ticket on my car. Ironically, I told him that the one thing that mattered to me was that he please not get a parking ticket on my car. Please make sure you read the signs and please do not get a parking ticket.

Well, he accidentally slept in and got a parking ticket. All his apologies cannot pay the bill. The bill is paid. Of course, I paid it. But he refuses to answer my emails. I have little faith in him paying me back, but PLEASE HAVE SOME FUCKING SELF RESPECT. It's quite insulting when I see you out and about around town when you should be at home eating Top Ramen so you can save what little money you have to pay me back what is rightly mine.

I have bills, too. I am not prancing around in Prada and wasting money frivolously. I have a $2,900 property tax bill due on December 10th. The second 25% of our catering bill is due mid-December. I, too, would like to buy Christmas presents for my family. Pay me my money, you shithead!

Praise the Lord

On this Thanksgiving, I am most grateful for my soon-to-be husband Dean. He loves me unconditionally. He's there for me even when I'm in the worst mood and I attack him. He reasons, "I know you've been really stressed out and you're taking it out on me. That's ok." He's my personal limo service. He drops me off at work. He picks me up. He buys me chocolate and sends me sweet texts throughout the day. He makes me tea at night. He buys me Lean Cuisines. He's my biggest cheerleader and never ceases to tell people that I'm a published writer who also happens to have a "big PR job." Every year, I've been so grateful for my friends and family (as I am this year, too), but this is a special year because I've found my best friend for life.

Back on Track with the Ace

When I'm dropping well over $10,000 in fees for a wedding (not including filling the hotel over the weekend with our wedding guests), I expect a certain level of service. As a bride, finding out that my catering manager has left was completely unacceptable. Ever hear of disabling an employee's email when they leave?

After going straight to the general manager, the sales director, and the interim catering manager, my fears have been dismissed. They treated us really well, discounting our room, upgrading us, and discounting all of our purchases in the diner, bar, and spa by 20%. The tasting was amazing. All of our guests will be treated to chicken, beef, alaskan cod, pulled pork, berry tarts, and chocolate cake. No choice to make...you'll get everything!

My saving grace here is a local day-of wedding coordinator who has helped me every step of the way. She is worth every penny. She's secured the Friday night welcome dinner venue. She's answered all my questions about weather, temperature, timing, recommended vendors. I couldn't plan this without her sound knowledge of Palm Springs. Fireworks? No problem...not that we're having fireworks. Well, not literally anyway.

P.S. I Love You

While researching wedding venues, I was all over the place: the San Francisco Bay Area, Santa Barbara, San Diego, Phoenix, Scottsdale, Chicago, Hawaii. I discovered a boutique hotel in Palm Springs and became more interested after discussions with the catering manager. Over the 4th of July holiday, we took time off work and came down to scout it out. We fell in love with Palm Springs. It's hot year-round and very relaxing.

Someone said to me, "There's nothing to do in Palm Springs, but hang out by the pool." Umm, I can't think of anything better. If you can't relax and chill by the pool, then I feel sorry for you.

Several months later, we're back down here again and we're loving it more and more. We stayed in the hotel where we're having the wedding for the first time. The rooms are kitschy-cool with record players, bear rugs, and outdoor fireplaces. The rooms also come with luxurious Suite Dreams beds that are heaven. I think I like them more than my Tempurpedic, but Dean says nothing beats my bed.

The hotel is conveniently located near downtown and close to the airport. There's no need to leave with two pools, spa services, a diner, a bar, bikes, Vespas. Plus the price point for having our wedding here (the venue, accommodations, food & drink) could not be beat. We cannot wait to share our wedding weekend with you. It's going to be a blast!

Awww Shit. Big Wedding Problem.

There are a few rules that I live by. 1. If you work hard, you will be successful. There are some people who 'think' they work hard, but they're quite lazy when you compare them to others. Hence, they whine. 2. Those who give shall receive. I've noticed that the most giving people I know are also the wealthiest. But they don't give because they're wealthy. They always gave...even before they were wealthy. 3. If you plan well, things will go well.

Well, things did not go well. Even bad things happen to people who overplan. I was a bit flustered when my catering manager didn't return my email promptly. I figured she was on vacation or something--even though I didn't get an out of office response. So I called the hotel where we're getting married. The front desk answered. "Erin no longer works here. How can I help you?"

Shocked, I didn't say anything for a few seconds. Then I screamed, "Transfer me to your general manager now!"

The poor guy listened as I rambled on heatedly. "This is so unacceptable. I'm getting married at your hotel. One of the main reasons I signed the contract was because of your catering manager Erin. Why is it that I had to discover on my own that she's no longer employed there? When was I going to hear about this? Can you assure me that you know exactly what we had agreed to? What was the point in meeting with her if I'm just going to have to repeat everything again? I know that contract like the back of my hand. All of my issues better be resolved otherwise I'm canceling and I know there's no penalty if I cancel by mid-December."

Go Bears

When I say 'Go Bears,' I don't really mean it. If Cal is playing and I happen to be watching the game, of course, I'll root for Cal. But I am no sports fanatic. I don't get season tickets. I can't in detail recount the bizarre Play between Stanford and Cal. It's just not in me. I was pretty psyched to watch a little bit of The Big Game when we rolled into town on Saturday evening. I was stunned, frankly. My motto for my alma mater has consistently been, "Cal Bears never fail to disappoint." Am I right or what?

So when we won, I couldn't help but scream, "Go Bears!" I know that's hypocritical, but when I say it, I'm really saying, 'Cheers to all the hard-core bears fans out there (I know so many of them) who cheer the school on. They watch every game. They get depressed when we lose. They deserve this win. This is for you. Go Bears!"

SoCal Vacation

Dean and I are both officially on vacation. I call it a working vacation since the premise of the trip is wedding planning. We are both taking one week off work so the next couple posts will be about wedding crap and meeting each others' LA-based friends.

We must've picked the best time to roadtrip down to LA: clocking exactly five hours, three stops, leaving at 1pm Saturday and strolling into Beverly Hills just a little past 6pm. We stayed at the upscale, but tiny Crescent Hotel, dined at The Palm, and drinks at Dan Tana's with Dean's friends. Shockingly, I threw up as soon as we got home. Not sure why, but suspect it had something to do with mixing alcohol and wine. I usually only drink wine these days so I guess the hard alcohol was an affront to my body. Fun double-date with Dean and his friend/wife.

One of the worst things about vacationing is picking up and sleeping in a new place every night. Avoid at all costs. Not until we get to Palm Springs are we staying in a place for more than one night.

It's a Jew World

My coworker is a Disney fanatic. She goes to Disneyland several times a year, Disneyworld annually. I think she even has a Disney condo time share. She's a VIP member. She's on all their email lists. One year, they customized a video and emailed it to her. Her last name is Jew so the video had all this signage "It's a Jew World" and the song "It's a Small World" played in the background. We were totally cracking up about the jew thing.

I never understood when one of my jewish girlfriends said she wasn't attracted to jewish guys because every second or third guy I dated was jewish. I found them to be intellectual, hard-working, witty, and talented. Unlike the agnostic or atheist losers, the jewish guys were gentleman. They offered to pick me up, opened doors, and called instead of texted. One sweetheart baked me a batch of chocolate chip cookies. They were gift-wrapped and he handed them to me at the end of our date. "A gift from me and my daughter. We had a fun time baking them last night." My heart melted.

What was a single girl to do when she likes the jews and they seemed to like her? Join Jdate, of course. The only problem was the jewish girls. They were rather territorial and they gave me shit about it. And I'm talking about my girlfriends. But not the one who didn't like jewish guys. She was encouraging. "I'm glad you're on Jdate. You can take my place. I sure don't want them."

If there were an Fdate for filipino singles or Adate for asians, I would never slight any non-filipino, non-asian for being on it. In fact, I'd be flattered. I think it's great when other cultures get along or other cultures hookup. Doesn't that indicate openness? Like the black women who throw a fit when a black man hooks up with a white woman. They call him a sell-out. Get over it, people. Fucking get over it. There's enough love in this world to go around.

Me, My Business, and Social Media

I went to this panel discussion at the University Club last night on social media. The conference room was flanked by a bunch of marketing MBAs trying to figure out how to integrate social media and the latest trends into their business processes. I'm not the trendsetter when it comes to this stuff, but I understand the importance of it and I use it to cultivate my network.

I came away thinking two things. I'm actually not really behind when it comes to the latest and greatest. I seem to know much more than I give myself credit for and could jive with what the industry experts (Google, Twitter, Salesforce, Foursquare, Myspace) were saying. That said, my company and conservative work culture are far behind. They're far behind because they clearly do not understand the benefits. Hello, it's not just about a friggin fan page! It's about interacting with your customers. Do you think your customers want to wait around on a phone queue to talk to customer service and give feedback? No! They're furiously tweeting about how they're going to take their business elsewhere and they hope their whole network will do the same. They're not ranting at you. They're ranting about you to their friends and family. As business people (and when I say 'business people' I mean every working person in this world), we need to understand the customer experience. We need to interact with our audience. You cannot do that in a vacuum. That's where social media comes in.

I often hear in my company, "Can you believe that blogger made our stock tank? Unbelievable. Bloggers can say anything. Their language isn't approved. You can't trust what they say."

This is a new world. Do you think that people want to go to your boring ass web site to get your same, approved, plain vanilla statements on earnings? Fuck no! Why do you think they're looking to bloggers? Because bloggers have a new perspective. It's renegade. It's different. It's a new spin. Wake up, people. This isn't hard.

Figure out the new technology, the new trends, and make it work for you.

Vacation, Please Come Now

I so need a fucking vacation. I just played a couple rounds of extremely competitive Scrabble and it was so not fun. Next time you play, make sure everyone understands the rules, and there's a neutral party involved. I felt like I was attacked for trying to explain my reasoning with two people who clearly wanted me to lose whether it was fair or not. Unbelievable. I thought board games were supposed to be boring and fun.

I am so tired. One of the admins commented, "You look so tired! Your eyes give it away." Gasp! I used Visine this morning. Didn't it get the red out? I live in a studio apartment. I know, woe is me. The weekend can't come soon enough. My raise is still up in the air.

We are taking a week off to do wedding planning and vacation in Southern California. I'm going to sleep in. Pig out. And lose weight. I can't wait.

Show Me the Money

One of the things that heralds the end of the year is a performance review. Now I've been with my company for five years. In that timeframe, I've gotten great reviews and I've managed only one substantial raise. I got that raise when I packed by bags, moved to another group, and completely switched job functions.

My last boss lied to me. At the time, I didn't feel like I was making enough money. I knew with certainty that I was valued and an integral member of the product management team. This is a fact: my boss could not have done her job without me. She even told me so. I was young and naive back then and probably didn't go about this the right way, but I felt like I needed to show her another offer to make more money. So I went about interviewing. I got a higher paid offer and showed her. She promised to match it. I was satisfied. But I was also stupid, dumb, and completely fucking retarded. I assumed she would stick to her word. She did not. I didn't realize until months later that she never increased my salary. I was too busy at work (this was when I was working like a maniac) to notice no bump up in my paycheck. When stupid me realized, I fumed and asked for backpay. She backtracked and said I never got anything in writing.

I waited until my bonus was deposited into my account, then when it was time for my review, I said, "Well there's no reason for this review since I'm leaving." And I gave her exactly two weeks.

I'm a little more mature now. At least, I'm a lot more zen than the hothead I used to be. This time around, I'm prepared. I know I want to be exactly where I am, but my job function warrants a salary adjustment. I've got the achievements to back it up and documentation to prove my worth. This is all going down sometime this week. And I'm feeling pretty damn good about it.

Say Cheese

Dean and I took some cheesy ass engagement pictures yesterday. A friend of mine had these really great pictures on Facebook and I asked who took them. His co-worker who's studying to get his MFA in photography part-time took them. I started up a conversation with him, asked if he'd consider taking our pictures, and so off we went to Golden Gate Park this weekend.

I'm starting to realize, there are all these fun unique things that people do when they're getting married. This is one of them. Dean and I had a blast making out all over Golden Gate Park.

Filipinos for Pacquiao

I had lunch with Daniel today and he mentioned watching Precious last Friday, too. He said his wife called while he was making his way to the theater, "I think every Black person in Dublin is here." The theater was packed.

I said, "Oh kinda like how every Filipino was watching the Pacquiao fight on Saturday?"

I'm not into sports. I'm certainly not in to boxing. But this much-hyped Pacman, pound-for-pound the best boxer of our time has gotten me just as excited as Dean watching Monday Night Football.

It's such a joy to watch someone from my homeland win. Seriously, what is the Philippines known for besides political corruption and eating dog?

Someone asked me this weekend. "They really eat dog in the Philippines? It's on the menu? Do you know what kind of breed you're eating?"

"Ummm, no silly. It's not like the fish of the day. You can't dine on pug or french bulldog. They're mangey dogs off the street. They're mutts."

The best thing about Pacquiao is how he's united a country that has been completely devastated by the typhoons. Filipinos around the world are singing the national anthem, rooting for this guy at the MGM in Vegas. I finally had something to talk to my Dad about besides random chit-chat.

Pacquiao vs Mayweather. BRING IT!

Precious

Everyone knows I'm not a TV or movie fanatic. I see very few movies a year. But every few years, I see a movie that grips me. It makes me want to shout, "Please, you must see this movie. It is so important." The last movie that did this for me was Brokeback Mountain. That intense, forbidden love jolted me. I walked out of the theater with tears streaming down my eyes. My dating life seemed so irrelevant compared to the screen: two people who loved each other so much, yet could not be together.

The movie Precious has done it for me again. I am so far removed from violence, abuse, neglect. I have an even greater respect for teachers and social workers. But my biggest take-away from the movie was sensitivity. It's very easy for me to think, "Well my parents immigrated here. They worked hard. I worked hard for my career. Anyone can do it." But what if you layer in all the cursing, the gun shots, the rapes. See this movie. This is what Americans are going through. We need to care. Movies like this will wake you up and make you care.

Baby Anniversary

I woke up and I told Dean, "It's our baby anniversary. We've been together for nine months. We could've had a baby by now."

I'm the first to admit that it's shocking how fast my life has changed. I found a boyfriend. We got engaged. We moved in together. We're planning a wedding and honeymoon. I'm figuring out whether or not to sell the home that I own. It seems so adult...so unlike me!

Exactly a year ago, I was working, writing, dating, and figuring out where my next big vacation would be. Now I have to report to someone besides my boss. I have to tell him what my plans are for the week. I have to let him know when I need the car. I have to tell him, "No, please don't follow me to the gym. I need some alone time. Thank you for your understanding."

We're still learning. Of course it takes time, but happy to be together. Very very happy.