Sucks to Be Me

I am so fucking tired and I'm so fucking fat. All those long work days. All those hours on the treadmill. Yet our stock tanked. And I gained five fucking pounds from Starbucks runs, Specialty's cookies, chips, burgers, onion rings, pizza, dim sum. I'm bloated, annoyed, and feeling like I'm going to bust out of my pants during our work dinner tonight. I swear, I'm spending the weekend in the gym.