California, Quit Your Crying

Unemployment has creeped past 12% in California. Headlines like this scare me because I know it's just an excuse for the lazy, unskilled, unemployed to say, "Woe is me!"

You know what, people? Get off of Facebook and get a fucking job.

Yeah, yeah. Don't tell me to get off of my high MBA-trotting horse, because I won't even go there. Let's dumb me down to the lowest common denominator. No graduate degree, no college degree, but waitressing and babysitting experience. Minimum wage in San Francisco is $9.79. Let's get out the abacus. $9.79 x 8 hours a day x 5 days a week x 52 weeks in a year = $20,363 Taxed at 40%, net pay would be $1,018 / month. I'll admit that that's tough to live on. Even in a roommate situation, you'll pay about $500 in rent. But why rent when you're making minimum wage? Go back home to mom and dad. They have a couch, yes? No parents? You've got siblings right? No sibs? You've got friends, right? Ever heard of couch-surfing?

Here's a financial tip. Run around the north side of the Berkeley campus and checkout all the psych experiments that pay for your time. I made a fortune when I was in undergrad, taking surveys and participating in experiments.

Let's say I babysit. I can command an hourly rate of $15 / hour. I know that for a fact. $15 x 8 hours a day x 5 days a week x 52 weeks in a year = $31,200 Woooohooo! We're in the money now! That nets $1,560 / month, I pay $500 for a roommate situation, and I've got more than a thousand dollars left for Top Ramen and my favorite beer. Life doesn't get any better than that. That doesn't even account for extra waitressing gigs I'll pickup on the weekends.

How about a stroll through Craigslist lane? Check it out. Zazie restaurant is hiring a host. Habla ingles, si? The position includes full benefits (health and dental insurance, 401k with 4% company match, and a nightly meal). Hello? Is that generous or what? And the wage…shit...$28 x 8 hours a day x 5 days a week x 52 weeks in a year = $58,240 Damn, people, Zazie operators are standing by.

I'm tired of the excuses. I don't know how long this recession is going to last. I don't know when the economy is going to pickup. But I do know it's time to stop feeling sorry for yourself. Have some self respect. Go out there and make a living. It's really not that hard.